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    A Police STOP at 2 AM

    A Police STOP at 2 AM


    An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night.

    The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about...
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    Penguins Did you know why there are no dead...

    Penguins
    Did you know why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica - where do they go? Wonder no more ! ! !

    It is a known fact that the penguin is a very ritualistic bird which lives...
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    Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day...

    Cletus is passing by Billy Bob's hay barn one day when, through a gap in the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old green John Deere.

    Buttocks clenched, he...
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    Several men are in the locker room of a golf...

    Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cellular phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen....
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    "Man down in Aisle 5....."

    A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.

    'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife.

    'They're on sale,...
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    Two Irishmen- - Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian...

    Two Irishmen- - Patrick Murphy and Shawn O'Brian - - grew up together and were lifelong friends. But alas, Patrick developed cancer, and was dying.
    While on his deathbed, Patrick called to his...
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    A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange...

    A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Naples, FL and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool.

    After catching his breath he ordered a banana...
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    After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist...

    After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."
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    Internet Acronyms for Flyfishers

    Internet surfers and teenagers aren?t the only people in a hurry. We flyfishers also need to speed up the communication across our fly forums, e-mail, social network sites, and when using our palm...
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    From the WA State Patrol Annals...

    GOOD: Seattle, WA policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem- a 12- year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign,...
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    Heard in the confessional...

    Drunk Ole Mulvihill (From the Northern Irish Clan) staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional box, sits down but says nothing. The Priest coughs a few times to get his attention but Ole...
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    In an Irish Pub...

    Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day. Mick, the bartender says, 'You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy'. Paddy...
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    In a church: The pastor asked if anyone in...

    In a church:

    The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express
    Praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium.

    She said, "I have a Praise. Two...
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